How To Communicate With People: Seven Keys To Effective Communication

Everyone communicates, but learning how to communicate effectively requires skill. In order to become successful in business (or any aspect of life), it is important to develop proper communication skills. For some people, communicating is easy.

Some have a natural flair for communicating and a strong sense of confidence or charisma that endears them to others. Opening up in order to learn about another person takes very little effort.

But how does the rest of the population learn how to communicate with others? Let's start by exploring seven easy-to-follow steps.

Confidence

Good people skills start with confidence. When a person has confidence, it shows. Confidence attracts others like a magnet because on some level, the attitude shows this person is worth the time and effort.

A strong sense of self moves quickly past the small talk and invites opportunity to reach the heart of the conversation without wasting time.

When using effective communication, one of the most important rules to follow is to look a person directly in the eyes. People who lack confidence tend to avoid eye contact. Avoiding eye contact shows disinterest or in a worst-case scenario, dishonesty.

When two people make eye contact, effective communication is possible. Eye contact also lends credibility to what you say.

 

Show Interest

Many people make the mistake of talking too much about themselves. Nothing kills a conversation quicker than rambling on about oneself. One of the best methods to learn how to communicate with people is to get them to talk about themselves instead of making them listen to you.

This helps the other person feel more at ease and boosts his or her confidence. On a more subtle level, it creates a situation where the other person feels obligated to reciprocate. The indulgence of talking places a person in the position of returning the favor and listening to you.

The Art of the Open-Ended Question

One of the quickest routes to awkward silence is asking questions that can be simply answered with yes or no. By asking a question that requires a more detailed answer, the other person has to elaborate and offer as much information as possible.

Why ask, "Are you enjoying yourself," when the question could be phrased, "What do you think of this party?"

Part of effective communication is learning how to phrase questions that make the other person think. One thing leads to another and in a short time, stories are shared and the ice is broken. 

 

Forget about the weather and definitely stay away from politics and religion! Comment on something the person is wearing. Does he have a detectable accent? If so, ask where he's from or take a guess, if the accent is recognizable enough.

Be careful though; don't rattle off a string of questions. This is a sure way to make someone feel uncomfortable. A conversation should not be an interrogation.

When asking someone's name, repeat it immediately. Saying a name aloud helps to cement it in the memory. Use the person's name often over the course of the conversation and remember to smile.

Listen Twice, Speak Once

Pablo Golub, author of "It's All a Damn Game" says, "You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Therefore, you should listen twice as much as you speak."

In relation to people skills, this means that while the other person is talking, give him or her your undivided attention. Don't get caught in the trap of thinking of what you're going to say next, what will happen later that day or any of the other tangents where the mind can wander.

Stay focused, absorb the information given, and find a way to follow up with a question relevant to the subject.

 

Take an active interest in what this person is interested in, and if it's a subject you know nothing about, you can use it to your advantage. Find out more about the subject.

Admit it is not a familiar topic. Would he mind telling you more about it? People love to share what they know and nothing increases confidence more than sharing a subject close to the heart.

When you discover a person's favorite topic, he will have no problem opening up to tell you all about it.

Knowledge Is Power

Effective communication begins and ends with knowledge. A well-rounded individual is a fascinating one. People who travel, read or are aware of current events are a joy to talk to. The more life experience a person has, the better he or she can relate to others.

People who travel have the ability to understand other cultures and people who read a lot often have a head full of topics to discuss and can adapt to any conversation.

A person who participates in multiple activities is sure to find common ground with someone else. Establish a bond and let the conversation flow.

 

Take a Risk

Another interesting point that Golub makes has to do with self-worth. He says that self-worth is synonymous with confidence and regardless of rejection, a person's self worth does not change. All too often, people are afraid to take a chance because they fear rejection. Rejection makes a person feel inferior.

In reality, rejection does not change one's self-worth. You are still the same person, as valuable and important as you were before you entered the conversation.

No one can take your self-worth away from you; only you can do that. Rejection is an illusion until it actually happens. Why spend time worrying about a "what if" situation?

Take a chance and keep trying for what you want. It's only a matter of time before you get it. The only way to learn how to communicate with people and to hone your skills is by practicing. Hanging back in the shadows and playing it safe leads nowhere.

Start Small

Learning how to communicate with people takes time to develop and everyone will advance at their own pace. Start small; become comfortable with each of these steps one at a time.

 

At its foundation, effective communication starts with confidence and this is the thread that binds everything else together. Each encounter helps to increase your confidence and diversify your experiences. A good place to practice these new people skills is the office or in the store.

After it has become easier to speak with peers, try talking to people in higher positions of power, such as managers. In no time, the skills you taught yourself regarding how to communicate with people will become second nature and won't require any thought at all. Talking to someone like the CEO of a major company will be a breeze.

Nobody ever said learning how to communicate with people would be easy. For some, mustering the confidence required will be a huge step.

This is probably the most difficult part, but once you take that step, the rest will fall into place. Have faith in yourself and know that you are as worthy as the next person.

Effective communication is an important skill everyone should know, as it is the key to future success and advancement in practically every aspect of life.

 

 

Test Your Social Skills IQ

Communication is the key to social skills, but when communication breaks down, social ineptitude takes on a life of its own. As children we were taught that it's not OK to blurt out derogatory names just because someone has upset us. We're not supposed to throw tamper tantrums when we can't have what we want, that sharing is smiled upon, while pushing and shoving to be first in line is not. Find out just how savvy you are with this social skills quiz.